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LETTER96
CHARLESLAMBTOTHOMASMANNING
[Nodate.?EndofApril,1802.]
MydearManning,—Althoughsomethingofthelatest,andaftertwomonthswaiting,yourletterwashighlygratifying.Somepartswantalittleexplication;forexample,"thegod-likefaceoftheFirstConsul."Whatgoddoeshemostresemble?Mars,Bacchus,orApollo?orthegodSerapiswho,flying(asEgyptianchroniclesdeliver)fromthefuryofthedogAnubis(thehieroglyphofanEnglishmastiff),lightedonMonomotapa(orthelandofapes),bysomethoughttobeOldFrance,andtheresetupatyranny,&c.OurLondonprintsofhimrepresenthimgloomyandsulky,likeanangryJupiter.Ihearthatheisverysmall,evenlessthanme,whoam"lessthantheleastofthetles,"atleastthantheyarepaintedintheVatican.Ienvyyouyouraccesstothisgreatman,muchmorethanyourséancesandconversaziones,whichIhaveashrewdsuspicionmustbesomethingdull.WhatyouassertconcerningtheactorsofParis,thattheyexceedouredians,"badasoursare,"isimpossible.Inonesenseitmaybetrue,thattheirfinegentlemen,inwhatiscalledgenteeledy,maypossiblybemorebriskanddégagéthanMr.CaulfieldorMr.Whitfield;buthaveanyofthemthepowertomovelaughterinexcess?orcanaFrenchmanlaugh?Cantheybatteratyourjudiciousribstilltheyshake,nothingbothtobesoshaken?ThisisJohnBullscriterion,anditshallbemine.YouareFrenchified.Bothyourtastesandmoralsarecorruptandperverted.By-and-byyouwilletoassert,thatBuonaparteisasgreatageneralastheoldDukeofCumberland,anddenythatoneEnglishmancanbeatthreeFrenchmen.Read"HenrytheFifth"torestoreyourorthodoxy.Allthingscontinueatastay-stillinLondon.Icannotrepayyournewnoveltieswithmystalereminiscences.Liketheprodigal,Ihavespentmypatrimony,andfeeduponthesuperannuatedchaffanddryhusksofrepentance;yetsometimesIrememberwithpleasurethehoundsandhorses,whichIkeptinthedaysofmyprodigality.Ifindnothingnew,noranythingthathassomuchoftheglossanddazzleofnovelty,asmayreboundinnarrative,andcastareflectiveglimmeracrossthechannel.SomethingIwillsayaboutpeoplethatyouandIknow.Fenwickisstillindebt,andtheProfessorhasnotdonemakinglovetohisnewspouse.Ithinkheneverlooksintoanalmanack,orhewouldhavefoundbythecalendarthatthehoneymoonwasextinctamoonago.Lloydhaswrittentomeandnamesyou.IthinkaletterfromMaisonMagnan(isthatapersonorathing?)wouldgratifyhiG.DyerisinlovewithanIdeotwholovesaDoctor,whoisincapableoflovinganythingbuthimself.ApuzzlingcircleofperverseProvidences!Amazeasun-get-out-again-ableastheHousewhichJackbuilt.SoutheyisSecretarytotheChancelloroftheIrishExchequer;£400ayear.StoddartisturnedDoctorofCivilLaw,anddwellsinDoctorsCommons.Ifearhismonsareshort,astheysay.DidIsendyouanepitaphIscribbleduponapoorgirlwhodiedatnineteen,agoodgirlandaprettygirl,andaclevergirl,butstrangelyneglectedbyallherfriendsandkin?
"Underthiscoldmarblestone
Sleepthesadremainsofone
Who,whenalive,byfewornone
Wasloved,aslovedshemighthavebeen,
Ifsheprosperousdayshadseen,
Orhadthrivingbeen,Iween.
Onlythiscoldfuneralstone
Tellsshewasbelovedbyone,
Whoonthemarblegraveshismoan."
Brief,andpretty,andtender,isitnot?Isendyouthis,beingtheonlypieceofpoetryIhavedone,sincethemusesallwentwithT.M.toParis.Ihaveneitherstuffinmybrain,norpaperinmydrawer,towriteyoualongerletter.Liquorandpanyandwickedtobaccoanights,havequitedispericraniatedme,asonemaysay;butyouwhospiritualiseuponChampagnemaycontinuetowritelongletters,andstuffemwithamusementtotheend.Toolongtheycannotbe,anymorethanacodiciltoawillwhichleavesmesundryparksandmanorsnotspecifiedinthedeed.Butdontbetwomonthsbeforeyouwriteagain.ThesefrommerryoldEngland,onthedayofhervaliantpatronSt.George.
C.LAMB.
[Thisletterisusuallydated1803,butIfeelsureitshouldbe1802.SoutheyhadgivenuphisIrishappointmentinthatyear,andGodwinshoneymoonbeganinDecember,1801.
"Evenlessthanme."Mr.W.C.HazlittgivesinMaryandCharlesLambavividimpressionofLambssparefigure.AfarmeratWidford,Mr.CharlesTween,himselfnotabigman,toldMr.HazlittthatwhenwalkingoutwithLambhewouldplacehishandsunderhisarmandlifthimoverthestilesasifitwerenothing.Napoleonsheightwas5feet6or7inches.
ThomasCaulfield,abrotheroftheantiquaryandprint-seller,JamesCaulfield,wasaedianandmimicatDruryLane;WhitfieldwasanactoratDruryLane,wholatermovedtoCoventGarden.
"Anepitaph."TheselineswerewrittenuponafriendofRickmans,MaryDruittofWimborne.TheywereprintedintheMorningPostforFebruary7,1804,signedC.L.Seelater.]
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